just cuz….

this has been sitting with me for the past few days… what can i say? Nikki tells it like no other and sometimes it be just like that… complicated.

Habits

i haven’t written a poem in so long
i may have forgotten how
unless writing a poem
is like riding a bike
or swimming upstream
or loving you
it may be a habit that once aquired
is never lost
but you say i’m foolish
of course you love me
but being loved of course
is not the same as being loved because
or being loved despite
or being loved
if you love me why
do i feel so lonely
and why do i always wake up alone
and why am i practicing
not having you to love
i never loved you that way.

By Nikki Giovanni

throwDOWN thursday’s: Madlib- Crate diggin’

Some what of  a throwback but the Stone Throw crew’s appearance at SXSW this year has me going back through some of my favorite cali crew’s joints.

if you plan on being in austin for SXSW go see the crew you wont be disappointed!

ThrowDOWN Thursday’s! Whole Wheat Bread

Black rockers from Fla. need i say more?

Henrietta Lacks: cervical health, theft, & Black Bodies

I would like to think i was a good student in High School. I may have fallen asleep in class but hey, i was still in AP bio and for the most part i still remember my anatomy and science. On top of that i try to stay up on what goes on in health debates especially when Black women’s health and justice are concerned. That is why i was TOTALLY surprised to learn of Henrietta Lacks and the way her cells have traveled the world a billion times over.

So, what would you do if one day you found out that your mother’s cancer cells were being incubated and tested in scientific labs around the world. More importantly, you might have wondered how they got there in the first place right? What if you learned that in 1950 your mother went to the hospital seeking treatment for an unknown reproductive health concern and was turned away. Then after her insistence, she was treated for a venereal disease without a screening (well didn’t you know, you can tell black women have some sort of sexually transmitted infection by just looking at them…), then again pushed out the door. But that couldn’t be it, right? how did they get her cells? well, you find out that your momma unwilling to take no for an answer goes back to John Hopkins and demands comprehensive testing. Well, it would be during these tests, x-rays, and blood transfusions the doctors find out she had cervical cancer and it had metastasized through out her body causing her deep pain. The doctors then take samples of her cells to create cultures of the significant growth they have never seen before, the cells have infinite regeneration capabilities, meaning they do not die. The doctors of John Hopkins in their excitement about the scientific ‘find’ hold a press conference the day after your mother’s death, announcing the availability of the cells for scientific research. You wouldn’t know this because your momma died at 31 and was buried in an unmarked grave. you would only learn the full story when a young white graduate student contacts you and your family for interviews to include in her book.

This is the story of Henrietta Lack’s cells and her family’s discovery that her cells have been shipped out and tested for over 5 decades all over the world. This is the story of the availability of the Black women’s body for use and furthering of medical science. What is remarkable is that Henrietta’s family, some of whom still live on the plantation where their ancestors where owned, whipped, and died, do not have the resources to seek the medical attention they need. Henrietta’s cells have been used to develop a vaccine for polio, they have been sent to the moon to test the affect of gravity on human cells, they’ve been helpful to further research on Cancer and AIDS. They have even been used to test human sensitivity to chemicals! Her cells do not die which means the opportunities for capitalist gains in medical industrial complex are too infinite. One only has to think of all the money the N1H1 and HPV vaccines have generated for pharmaceutical companies and the political entities that promote them (Texas governor Rick Perry i see you). So even with all of this her family cannot afford medical attention or preventative care? Word, its’ like that?

When i first heard this story i was floored. How did i miss this? How did women who organize and fight for reproductive justice miss this thievery that happened? Was the assumption that it’s ok to take material from this Black woman’s body without the consent or knowledge of her family just to be taken as another great contribution to history… well happy Black History Month yall. With all the debate of stem cells, cord blood, and many other advances, the bureaucracy for donating body cells has become a specialized legal terrain.

On a spiritual note, what does it mean that this Black woman’s life is infinite and is keeping the world alive in various ways? Additionally, i don’t know if i would want my momma’s cells out in the world traveling all willy-nilly. It’s worth thinking about. What will happen to medical science when there stops being enough Black bodies to experiment on? Look at them, they like the Black woman they came from are beautiful, but they too are copyrighted. damn…

c/s

juliRED

to live and die in LA

Sometimes my LA driver tendencies cause me to heave a deep sigh when ambulance sirens are close enough that i have to pull over, becoming irritated at the delay.

Today, i heard them, slowed down, sighed, stopped and… Today, i saw his perfect pink black feet. 1- one thousand, 2-one thousand, 3- one thousand. the man in blue stretched out above him, pumping in a silent dance with his unknowing partner… up, down, up, down .1- one thousand, 2-one thousand, 3- one thousand. Stop.

You don’t have to see the final breath to know, nor is the final breath the only time you see death. It’s walking next to you, it brushed your shoulder, didn’t you feel it? see it? it is everywhere. How well are we?

Yesterday the LA Times reported that “Los Angeles County ranked number 26th in health outcomes and 44th in health factors.” This is out of 56 counties surveyed. This newly released report, published by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the University of Wisconsin, took a comprehensive view of factors leading to positive or negative health outcomes. The times reports, “Each county was ranked based on residents’ health, longevity and factors such as smoking, obesity, binge drinking, access to primary care providers, rates of high school graduation, rates of violent crime, air pollution levels, liquor store density, unemployment rates and number of children living in poverty.” Clearly this report established what many Black and Brown community health organizations know, where you live and lifestyle opportunities available to you affect the length and quality of your life.

Los Angeles, specifically south LA, has incredible rates of premature death for Black residents. According to reports by the LA Department of Public Health more Black people die of preventable illness such as cardiovascular disease, obesity, and type 2 diabetes, than “gang violence” or any other highly racialized  or seemingly criminal activity.  Ever been down south Vermont and try getting food from a place that does not have a drive through? Good luck.

What this county report failed to analyze is the obvious structural racism that is at work here, yet it is remarkably clear, those who have privileges of whiteness and all the opportunity it affords you, live longer. The placement of liquor stores and fast food chains are not arbitrary, all one must do is to think back to redlining to make the case for racialized urban planning. The disproportionate death that occurs in the city and rural areas, are those that are mostly populated by Black and Brown people. While LA was 44th, counties that fell even further behind were those of the Central Valley including Kern.

Are you wondering who made the top ten, well you shouldn’t.  That would be the most clearly white affluent counties with minimal ‘diversity’ including Marin, San Benito, Colusa, Santa Clara, San Mateo, Placer, Orange, Santa Cruz, and Sonoma.

My point is that for us death is not always sensational nor sudden, it is the daily struggle against state violence that tears us apart cell by cell. It is in the make up of our neighborhoods, it’s the policy, and budget cuts that allows for fewer clinics, fewer health programs, afters school camps, green areas, a decent grocery store and adequate jobs. It is not the fact that negro made it back on the census because for as long as we look for intentional and racial slurs as the sole markers of racism we miss this slow death and some of the reasons why Black people are the only racial population shrinking in the U.S.

c/s

juliRED

ThrowDOWN THursdays!! Carolina Chocolate Drops!

So for the past few days i listening to them nonstop! im telling you, you need this in your life!

They have been out for awhile, i was slow to the game… i mean to be fair, i ain’t never really like the sound of a bango but the Carolina Chocolate Drops change all of that!

http://www.carolinachocolatedrops.com/ go buy some music.

i love it

c/s

juliRED

not a Valentine

“To be sensual, i think is to respect and rejoice in the force of life, of life its self, and to be present in all that one does from the effort of loving to the making of bread” ~ James Baldwin

Check out one of my favorite dudes take on Romance by Obligation at The Champion Lover fan page.

we need to radiate love in all directions everyday, from that possibilities are endless.

there are no empty spaces.

c/s

juliRED

Its been awhile (take two)…. I used to write more

There was a plan and then I didn’t follow through. It is that simple. It’s the follow through that’s hard. Intentions and ideas are the easy part. Anyway, after reading a few old posts I realized I missed my blog. Not to be selfish but this is really about me liking what I write (and that does not happen often). It’s about me exploring the ever-changing landscape of my mind. I used to write more, because I was under pressure from my academic program, then as a way to pass the time, I while I lived that very special hell known as Austin. Later, writing became a way to make sense of blurry painful images that floated through my head. Now, it is an inconvenience, a task, burden, and another reminder of work I have not finished with time I do not have. Who can write under those conditions anyway?

So, when I say I miss my blog, I miss the long days and nights of nothing but me and my words and texts that required me to structure my time in a diligent way so that I might write both what was demanded and what was needed. I miss the creative time I gave myself to write without form or citation, that was just for me… oh yeah and you (whoever you are).  There is something about an intentional space of creation, so easily dismissed in the day-to-day scheduling of work and errands that cannot be forgotten. When you are frazzled at the end of the day, week, or month, is it because you forgot your keys? Did you forget to put the plastic bottle in the recycle bin? could you’ve booked two meetings at the same time? Did you forget to TIVO the Laker game?  Or did you forget to pay your bills online because without the papers you seem to forget the due dates easier.

Or maybe, just maybe what you are really frazzled, anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed about is the fact you have not provided yourself with the time to tune into your creative spirit. I know that is why I have trouble motivating in the morning. When you get in the habit of producing you want to see more and do more. We are greedy like that. In this case be greedy and feed your hunger for this time. I will. Because without time, writing takes longer and we don’t have time to waste.

Look for me.

c/s juliRED

Its been awhile!!

what up y’all?

i know i ‘ve been gone for hella long but we are about to remedy that! i needed time to get through some dark months and reflect on what i am doing here. Life goes on. For today i leave you with these two great songs to set the return of JuliRed right!!

it’s about the community-

i ain’t rich till he is rich till she is rich till we is rich.

be good to yourself!!

c/s J’red

WELLNESS WEDNESDAYS: Rice vs Hemp Protein

So for awhile i’ve been getting questions about healthy eating, living, healing and food from friends and family. After becoming a vegetarian at 14 and periodically going on meat haiatus during my early 20’s, I decided just over a year ago to become fully vegan (for all intents and purposes, also for those that need labels) but i like to say i eat to live. its been an informative journey. So from now on every Wednesday ill write about, offer up, explore some healthy tip or issue. this is just a little info on what i do or what keeps me interested in being well. WELCOME TO WELLNESS WEDNESDAYS!!

This week its Rice Protein vs Hemp Protein:

you might want to first ask yourself if you where to you get protein from? no answer or no clue? you might not be getting enough? not everyone needs a protein shake but for people on the go, folks with high metabolisms, those who eat very irregularly, or tend to work out a lot you may just want to try one.

Rice Protein: it seems that as a replacement for soy or whey it works well enough and is billed as a complete protein but does not carry as much protein per serving. which means you are actually getting less than you might need and might need to use or spend more. The plus is that there is a minimal taste factor and can be mixed with anything.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Rice-Protein-Powder-Whats-it-Actually-Good-For?&id=729039

Hemp Protein : This seems like a winner! is is a real complete protein including the 8 our bodies do not naturally produce. also it contain both omega 3 and 6 fatty acids. this is especially important as you begin to cut out dairy and other fats from your diet, your body still needs the correct fatty acids to build cells that insulate your veins, arteries, skin, and for all type of other body needs like producing hair ect. Finally, as a natural fiber hemp will help regulate digestion and blood sugar levels, which may cut out bloating that most people feel when they drink protien shake or eat those meal bars. the cons- it can taste pretty gnarley (its not as sweet as the sugary flavored whey protein) and it is pretty expensive.

http://www.n101.com/hemp_protein_guide_A10003.html

Both seem to be good for people who have allergens to dairy or soy products. additionally some soy is high in estrogen and can mess with people’s mental, emotional, and physical cycles, if they are sensitive to imbalances in food products, be selective about how much soy you introduce into your diet. Either way you decide to go, i suggest to only buy powders that are guaranteed organic or else i am sure everything else goes out the door.

Be healthy yall

c/s

JuliRED